Sarah…….’’’ I  love  you’’’

                                                                                          : 19-November-2011

It is very difficult when someone you love, leaves you alone, the pain is very great, the pain consumes you, loneliness kills you.

How are you supposed to live without that love, how the hell should I do to ease the pain.

We lose our smile,  the joy dilutes, and our being longs to be loved by the one who is gone.

Only the music helps us to cope with the pain and sorrow consumes our moments of loneliness, that is to live, we learn by suffering, and life makes us stronger.

The only thing that kept me alive and strong, is the music of soul…’’’ Negative often took my heart, but it grew my love for her each and every moment.

Sarah..’’ I don’t know which way this is going. I thought its gonna end soon, but it’s hard to say I was wrong. I miss you more and more everyday!!! I’m here somewhere it the desert far away from you and you’re somewhere with someone else not even aware of the rays that fall from the sky, the ones for which I pray to God everyday to reach you!!! And hope to remind you of me….’’’ The air I breathe makes me sense you around. It gives me energy to live each moment, each time I breathe thinking of you! May be I’m not the only one for you but you’re the only one for me! The God up there is all the evidence I have, and no more shall I be able to pray to Him for you if I’m gone from this world!!! And I don’t know if you’ll shed even a teardrop of love for me…!!!

Happiness, inside of me comes when I remember you and it tells me not to give up! To see you when I close my eyes, to feel you around; is the most lovable moment of my life. Sometimes, this pain inside, hurts a lot. But not being with you, make me remember you and my love for you grows more and more and I hope this feeling lasts forever. Coz, even then, I’ll love you, even if you’re not in my life, forever and ever and ever!! And I can never be the same anymore, not at least in this life of mine. No person knows how I feel. I never have the guts to tell anyone. I am afraid of people knowing the real me, as I was afraid when I didn’t tell you who I was. Its really hard to write all these and the exact feeling right now because again I am afraid of this world and now I am afraid of you!!

Sarah…’’’’’’ it really hurts. I was stupid to have gone from your life. But I’m happy to have known you. Coz you changed me. You taught me to be true!!! But right now, without you around, day by day I’m losing myself. And shall I die without seeing you. I can’t even close my eyes, coz even then you would come in my dreams. Whenever, I stand alone at the rooftop, and a cold breeze gently touches me, I stretch my arms and feel you around and the more I feel you near me, the more my love increase for you. I’ve lost myself somewhere in the skies, where I can neither find myself nor you by my side!!! I shall paint the sky with my breath.

Dear Sarah, I don’t see you anywhere in the sky. May be the sky is too much polluted. But I’ll keep on searching you, until I breathe my last and I’ll be right next to you. And nothing shall last forever, except our memories!! My heart prays every moment, “Dear God, she is ill, please give all her pain to me. I’ll smile and carry it along with me. Transfer all her disease to me…. Please please please!!!’’ So you have to, please get well soon!!! I don’t wish to see you this way..,, its hard for me to think of it again and again!!! L L:’( :’(  I Love You forever’’ ;;;;;;;;;’’’’

I love you and love you and love you and shall love you forever and ever and ever…’’’ Even if this world tear me apart into pieces. I’ll still love you!!! The only thing I pray is…. You to be happy!!! If my staying away from you makes you happy, then so be it. I’ll never see you, never ever!! But even this life trades you to some dark place, remember me, I shall be there to hold your hand so that you’re not afraid. My dream may be just a common story among millions, but I’ve got only one life and from the inner me, I’d only want you to be with me. But it’s all destiny, maybe I’m not meant for you. The road ahead of  me shall remain dark and I’ll close my eyes and think of you and I’ll continue walking till the end of this journey. The only thing I’ll carry, will be holding your hands and believe in the destiny God made for me. If it is supposed to end this way, it shall end and if it is suppose to change, it will change no matter what happens. This part of my life I won’t hurt you, no more! I’ll walk and walk, and take each step thinking that you’re still with me walking by my side. Right now I don’t know where exactly you are. But I’ll pray to God, wherever you are….,,, please be happy! I’ve seen your eyes full of dreams. Live it!!